|
| Sexual problems in adulthood may be related to feelings of personal inadequacy, conflicting feelings regarding the opposite sex, severe family or religious training regarding sexuality, or experiences of sexual abuse in childhood. The effects of childhood sexual abuse are particularly damaging. Such experiences are often kept secret by the victim, leaving scars of shame, confusion, guilt and an inability to trust a sexual partner.
The most common sexual problems in men include premature ejaculation, problems in achieving or maintaining an erection, and diminished or excessive sexual desire. The most common problems in women include diminished sexual desire and problems in achieving a climax. Couples often have problems because their levels of sexual interest are different. The stereotype that it is the man who wants more sexual activity than the woman is not always correct. I see many couples in my practice where the opposite problem exists. Other symptoms may involve forms of sexual behavior which are problematic, including an obsessive preoccupation with sexuality. This may take the form of compulsive seeking of multiple sexual partners or prostitutes, compulsive masturbation, a compulsive preoccupation with pornography, or compulsive involvement with sexual liaisons through chat rooms on the Internet. With the advent of widespread access to the Internet, a new type of compulsive and addictive forms of behavior has become common. As with drug alcohol and gambling addictions, addiction to pornography on the Internet can expand until it interferes with or destroys all other aspects of a person's life, including personal relationships, leisure and social activities and functioning in the workplace. Treatment of sexual problems always starts with a good psychosocial history including, but not restricted to the nature and history of the problem. A psychologist is interested in other aspects of a person's history and present life, because problems in sexual functioning can only be understood in the context of a person's whole life situation. Pressure or conflict in other areas of your life may play a role in causing the symptoms of sexual dysfunction. It is often difficult for someone to make that initial appointment to discuss such personal matters. Nevertheless, in the private, confidential and professional atmosphere of a psychologist’s office people are often surprised to discover how quickly they are able to overcome their initial discomfort and discuss their personal problems. Depending on the nature of the problem, the psychologist may recommend having the spouse or other committed sexual partner involved in treatment. You can expect a psychologist to approach your problems in a manner which is sensitive to your feelings and you can expect him or her to behave in a professional, ethical and responsible manner. Most patients respond favorable to treatment by a well-qualified and experienced psychologist. I would recommend that you make sure you see someone who identifies himself or herself specifically as a psychologist, and not just as a "counselor," "therapist," or "sex therapist." See my page on selecting a psychologist for more information about the qualifications to look for. |
Copyright Marvin S. Beitner, Ph.D. © 1995-2007 |
It is important to recognize that adult sexual
problems are not always due to childhood sexual abuse. Inexperienced or poorly
trained therapists may damage their patients by over-enthusiastically and
improperly pursuing evidence of "repressed memories" of childhood
sexual abuse when in fact no such abuse ever occurred. The page on